Chapter 1: What Marriage Means 5. Growing Together

In marriage the individuals have an opportunity to keep on growing, and to improve their adjustments both in the home and in the world outside. As personality is in a constant process of development, for better or for worse, each should set his aim at being the best and most complete person he can become. Especially should one strive to develop in himself those qualities which make one more lovable and those which give piquancy to his personality, that each may be an increasingly satisfactory person as a life companion.

The new homemakers have many kinds of abilities that are worth developing, and the talents of both should be used in order that family life may be enriched the more. Let not the young woman stop her reading, forget her music, neglect her voice, nor give up any artistic or intellectual aspirations which she may have; let the husband likewise develop his ability in his chosen line of work and also any other talents that he possesses. In this way each will be a strong encouragement and an example to the other.

It is not necessary that the two should have the same education, nor that their interests should be identical, but it is essential that they should live in a world of common thought and understanding. Each can enrich the thinking of the other and add to the insight of the other by being an interesting person to live with. Therefore, each ought to be growing intellectually that there may be a real marriage of minds. They should read together and enjoy good radio and television programs, if possible, and on occasion should attend good plays and lectures together. Each should be big enough to appreciate what the other knows and how the other feels.

An important part of our growth takes place through our interests, for a person's interests are a large part of himself. When any two persons share their enthusiasms they make life more interesting for each other. Such sharing is the very stuff of which marriage is made on the mental side. There is a double process: we get more out of the shared idea because of the other person and we create a larger area of common experience with the person because of the enriching quality of the idea.

Working together in great causes offers a grand opportunity of developing a sense of unity because common interests bind us together. As, we share our best with each other we find that life grows broader and deeper. People should give their best to each other in mind and thought, not holding back nor fearing that they will give too much. One who "loses" his smaller self in devotion to the other and to the interests of the family will find a larger personality and a richer life.