The marriage service takes a variety of forms. The following is a modification of the Episcopal service:
At the time appointed for the marriage ceremony the persons to be united shall stand before the minister, the man at the right hand of the woman, and the minister shall say:
Dearly Beloved: We are gathered together in the sight of God and in the face of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony which is ordained of God, blessed by his favor, and to be held in honor among all men. Our Savior, having blessed a marriage ceremony by his presence, said that a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife and they two shall be one flesh.
As one in a union of heart, mind and body they are to live in mutual esteem and forbearance, and in wholehearted love for each other; they are to help and comfort each other, to provide for each other, as is fitting, in material things, and to help each other and pray for each other as heirs together of the grace of life.
If any here present knows any just cause why these two may not be lawfully joined together, let him now speak, or else forever after hold his peace.
Then the minister shall say Let us pray. He may use the following prayer, or whatever prayer he finds best.
0 God, our Eternal Father, Giver of the love which binds man and woman together in marriage, we pray that these thy servants may be truly united in this holy estate. Help them to grow into a new state of mind and heart fitting their new relationship. Sustain them by thy divine grace that they may establish a home in which thy love for them and their love for each other shall give them fulness of joy. Be with them as they live together in this holy bond, from this time forth, and through all their days, through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Then the minister shall say to the man, calling him by his Christian name:
__________, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto her so long as you both shall live?
The man shall answer, I will.
Then the minister shall say to the woman, calling her by her Christian name:
__________, will you take this man to be your wedded husband to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, and
forsaking all others, keep you only unto him so long as you both shall live?
The woman shall say, I will.
Then the minister shall say:
Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?
Then the father (or friend) shall say, I, or by a sign, or by putting the hand of the bride into that of the minister, shall give her away.
The minister, receiving the right hand of the woman, shall place it in the right hand of the man. Then, as instructed by the minister, the man shall say:
I, __________, take thee, __________,to be my wedded wife, from
this time forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part, and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Then the woman shall take the right hand of the man and as instructed by the minister, shall say:
I, __________, take thee, __________, to be my wedded husband from this time forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part, and thereto I give thee my troth.
Then the best man or other person appointed shall put a ring in the hand of the minister and the minister shall say:
This ring is a symbol of a love which is complete, beautiful, and endless. May God help you to make your love perfect and eternal.
Then the minister shall deliver the ring to the man, and the man, putting it on the third finger of the woman's left hand, shall say:
With this ring I thee wed, and with all that I am and all that I have I thee endow: in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
If it is a double ring ceremony the woman shall place the ring on the man's finger, and shall repeat the same words, as instructed by the minister.
Following this the minister shall say:
Forasmuch as __________ and __________ have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and have pledged their faith each to the other, by the authority that is committed unto me, I pronounce them husband and wife. Whom therefore God bath joined together let no man put asunder.
Chapter 8: Pathways to Spiritual Harmony 3. Prayer in the Home
Prayers for the home should be as deep and as inclusive as its hopes, joys, sorrows, struggles and triumphs. On occasion the members will wholeheartedly in connection with some special need. The pair who really learn to pray will be able to lay hold on sources of power and of understanding greater than their own, and to gain for their home something of the strength and serenity of the kingdom of God.
Jesus, giving us a prayer which his followers have used for nearly two thousand years and in all parts of the world, made it a model of trust in God and devotion to his kingdom. The Lord's Prayer is about the most suitable one that could be imagined. It assumes the unity of the group and is concerned with every-day matters, with common needs and with our relationships with our fellows; and it fits all these into their place in the program of the eternal kingdom of God. When we use the Lord's Prayer, and we should use it often in the home, let us guard against the carelessness of familiarity and seek to renew in our lives the spirit of Jesus who
taught us so to pray.
Other prayers some or all of which would be helpful in any family are given here. Sometimes one of these being used as a start, the family will want to add special petitions of its own. These prayers may be followed by the Lord's Prayer.
a. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, 0 Lord, my strength and my redeemer.
b. 0 God, we have no words with which to thank Thee for the great good which comes into our lives: but we pray that we may glorify Thee with cheerful hearts, and by lives which reveal thy goodness to others. Amen.
c. 0 God, our Father, make our home a part of thy true kingdom. May thy kindness be in our voices, thy love in our eyes, and thy purposes in our works. And may this day which thou has given us be a fragment of our life in Thee. Amen.
d. 0 God, our Father, we thank Thee for health of body and of mind, for the beautiful things in thy world, and the appeal of things unseen. Help us this day to be in harmony with thy purposes and to be our best for each other and for Thee.
e. 0 God, who art our strength and whose service is our highest joy; save us from holding too dear the things that are passing, and too cheap the things which are eternal. Enrich us with thy true riches; save us from pride, self-seeking and fear, and give us the spirit of Christ our Lord, whose service is perfect freedom. Amen.
f. Direct us, 0 Lord, with thy most gracious favor, and further us with thy continual help, that in all our works, begun, continued and ended in Thee, we may glorify thy holy name, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen?
g. For Morning:
We thank Thee, 0 God, our Father, for the new day which thou has given. Help us this day to be loyal to Thee, and skilful in building our home as a part of thy kingdom on earth. Be with us as we go about our duties and in thy strength may we do all things well. (Use whatever ending is desired.)
h. As we leave our home in thy strength, Our Father, help us wherever we go to carry the spirit of love, and to do to others as we would have them do to us. And so through this day may we serve Thee with true hearts, and live and move and have our being in Thee.
i. 0 God, our Father and our eternal Friend, we thank Thee for our home, a shelter for love and a haven from the turmoil of the world. Within these walls, and even more within our hearts, may we have Thee as our divine Guest, that thy goodness may bless our lives, and thy love cast out every fear.
j. 0 Lord, who hast moved us with united hearts to come to Thee in prayer, who knowest all our needs before we present them, and art more willing to give thy Spirit than earthly parents are to give good gifts to their children, we ask that thou wilt help us to recognize thy guidance, and give us faith to receive the blessings of thy kingdom beyond all that we could ask or think, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
k. 0 God, Source of life and truth, whose light is in the world around us, and in the mind of man; help us to have thy words written in our hearts. And may we not merely possess thy truth as a treasure, but may it possess us as its instruments, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
1. For Use in Happiness
We come to Thee in our happiness, our heavenly Father, thou Giver of true joys and of all good gifts. We pour out our thanksgiving before Thee, and ask that through the experiences of life we may know Thee better, so that we may reveal Thee in our lives, and may be to others givers of help and cheer, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
m. For a Time of Trouble
(Before offering this prayer it would be well to read passages listed under "Help in Trouble" on page 116)
In our trouble we turn to Thee, 0 God; for thou art our Father and our eternal Friend. In our distress we seek thy help. In our perplexity we ask thy guidance, and as we are prone to error we ask that thou wilt give us the wisdom that we need. Be thou our strength and support. In thy light may these dark shadows pass away, and even in our time of trouble may thy grace be sufficient for us and thy love sustain us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
n. For Use at Evening
God, who by thy grace hast kept us through this day, and hast brought us to the quiet of evening; as the day is thine, the night also is thine, and we are in thy care. We pray that thou wilt accept the work that we have done today, and forgive us for those things which have been wrong. In thy peace may our cares and burdens be forgotten, and may we rest this night in Thee. Amen.
o. Eternal God, the light of the minds that know Thee, the joy of the hearts that love Thee, and the strength of the wills that serve Thee; grant us so to know Thee that we may truly love Thee, so to love that we may fully serve Thee, to the honor and glory of thy holy name. Amen.
p. Life
Christ, who didst come that we might have life, and might have it more abundantly, we thy disciples come to Thee, that our lives may be filled with the fulness of God. Give us victory through faith over the sin that so easily besets us, and may we with minds lighted and hearts purified feel thy love which passes knowledge. Amen.
q. Penitence
God, we thy children come to Thee in penitence, for we have done things that we ought not to have done, and have left undone things that we ought to have done, and we need thy forgiveness.
We pray to Thee, who art gracious and merciful, to give us a new mind, that we may turn from all evil ways, from words that ought not to be spoken, from thoughts that are alien to thy kingdom, and from deeds that are done without love; and may find new life in Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Jesus, giving us a prayer which his followers have used for nearly two thousand years and in all parts of the world, made it a model of trust in God and devotion to his kingdom. The Lord's Prayer is about the most suitable one that could be imagined. It assumes the unity of the group and is concerned with every-day matters, with common needs and with our relationships with our fellows; and it fits all these into their place in the program of the eternal kingdom of God. When we use the Lord's Prayer, and we should use it often in the home, let us guard against the carelessness of familiarity and seek to renew in our lives the spirit of Jesus who
taught us so to pray.
Other prayers some or all of which would be helpful in any family are given here. Sometimes one of these being used as a start, the family will want to add special petitions of its own. These prayers may be followed by the Lord's Prayer.
a. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, 0 Lord, my strength and my redeemer.
b. 0 God, we have no words with which to thank Thee for the great good which comes into our lives: but we pray that we may glorify Thee with cheerful hearts, and by lives which reveal thy goodness to others. Amen.
c. 0 God, our Father, make our home a part of thy true kingdom. May thy kindness be in our voices, thy love in our eyes, and thy purposes in our works. And may this day which thou has given us be a fragment of our life in Thee. Amen.
d. 0 God, our Father, we thank Thee for health of body and of mind, for the beautiful things in thy world, and the appeal of things unseen. Help us this day to be in harmony with thy purposes and to be our best for each other and for Thee.
e. 0 God, who art our strength and whose service is our highest joy; save us from holding too dear the things that are passing, and too cheap the things which are eternal. Enrich us with thy true riches; save us from pride, self-seeking and fear, and give us the spirit of Christ our Lord, whose service is perfect freedom. Amen.
f. Direct us, 0 Lord, with thy most gracious favor, and further us with thy continual help, that in all our works, begun, continued and ended in Thee, we may glorify thy holy name, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen?
g. For Morning:
We thank Thee, 0 God, our Father, for the new day which thou has given. Help us this day to be loyal to Thee, and skilful in building our home as a part of thy kingdom on earth. Be with us as we go about our duties and in thy strength may we do all things well. (Use whatever ending is desired.)
h. As we leave our home in thy strength, Our Father, help us wherever we go to carry the spirit of love, and to do to others as we would have them do to us. And so through this day may we serve Thee with true hearts, and live and move and have our being in Thee.
i. 0 God, our Father and our eternal Friend, we thank Thee for our home, a shelter for love and a haven from the turmoil of the world. Within these walls, and even more within our hearts, may we have Thee as our divine Guest, that thy goodness may bless our lives, and thy love cast out every fear.
j. 0 Lord, who hast moved us with united hearts to come to Thee in prayer, who knowest all our needs before we present them, and art more willing to give thy Spirit than earthly parents are to give good gifts to their children, we ask that thou wilt help us to recognize thy guidance, and give us faith to receive the blessings of thy kingdom beyond all that we could ask or think, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
k. 0 God, Source of life and truth, whose light is in the world around us, and in the mind of man; help us to have thy words written in our hearts. And may we not merely possess thy truth as a treasure, but may it possess us as its instruments, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
1. For Use in Happiness
We come to Thee in our happiness, our heavenly Father, thou Giver of true joys and of all good gifts. We pour out our thanksgiving before Thee, and ask that through the experiences of life we may know Thee better, so that we may reveal Thee in our lives, and may be to others givers of help and cheer, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
m. For a Time of Trouble
(Before offering this prayer it would be well to read passages listed under "Help in Trouble" on page 116)
In our trouble we turn to Thee, 0 God; for thou art our Father and our eternal Friend. In our distress we seek thy help. In our perplexity we ask thy guidance, and as we are prone to error we ask that thou wilt give us the wisdom that we need. Be thou our strength and support. In thy light may these dark shadows pass away, and even in our time of trouble may thy grace be sufficient for us and thy love sustain us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
n. For Use at Evening
God, who by thy grace hast kept us through this day, and hast brought us to the quiet of evening; as the day is thine, the night also is thine, and we are in thy care. We pray that thou wilt accept the work that we have done today, and forgive us for those things which have been wrong. In thy peace may our cares and burdens be forgotten, and may we rest this night in Thee. Amen.
o. Eternal God, the light of the minds that know Thee, the joy of the hearts that love Thee, and the strength of the wills that serve Thee; grant us so to know Thee that we may truly love Thee, so to love that we may fully serve Thee, to the honor and glory of thy holy name. Amen.
p. Life
Christ, who didst come that we might have life, and might have it more abundantly, we thy disciples come to Thee, that our lives may be filled with the fulness of God. Give us victory through faith over the sin that so easily besets us, and may we with minds lighted and hearts purified feel thy love which passes knowledge. Amen.
q. Penitence
God, we thy children come to Thee in penitence, for we have done things that we ought not to have done, and have left undone things that we ought to have done, and we need thy forgiveness.
We pray to Thee, who art gracious and merciful, to give us a new mind, that we may turn from all evil ways, from words that ought not to be spoken, from thoughts that are alien to thy kingdom, and from deeds that are done without love; and may find new life in Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Chapter 8: Pathways to Spiritual Harmony 2. Grace at Table
At meals together in the cozy intimacy of the new home, there is no finer custom than grace at table. It will be most natural for the husband and wife partaking of their daily food at their own table to look to God in profound gratitude. Then later when children have come into the family a little circle joining hands around the table will be a pleasing sight.
The following forms of grace are offered by way of suggestion:
a. We give thanks to Thee, our Father, for this food provided for our returning needs, and for all the hands that have helped to prepare it for our table. Bless them and us, in Jesus' name, Amen.
b. For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
c. God bless thy gifts to our use and us in thy service, through Christ our Lord.
d. Give us grateful hearts, our Father, for all thy gifts to us, and make us thoughtful of the needs of others. Amen.
The following forms of grace are offered by way of suggestion:
a. We give thanks to Thee, our Father, for this food provided for our returning needs, and for all the hands that have helped to prepare it for our table. Bless them and us, in Jesus' name, Amen.
b. For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
c. God bless thy gifts to our use and us in thy service, through Christ our Lord.
d. Give us grateful hearts, our Father, for all thy gifts to us, and make us thoughtful of the needs of others. Amen.
Chapter 8: Pathways to Spiritual Harmony 1. A Home Dedication Service
The very fact that a family cares enough about spiritual values to put them into its program will be likely to give their home stability and a sense of high fellowship. A daily recognition of the spiritual is like looking up at the stars.
Each family must of course shape its own program of religious expression, with some elements adapted from the childhood homes of the two, and others worked out in their own experience.
The new custom of dedicating homes appeals to many persons. Such an act places an emphasis on the sacredness of the home and on the distinctness of the new family.
The dedication service which is offered here can be conducted by any homemakers who care for such a service, either by themselves or with any others they may desire to have present. Parts of the service may be assigned to the pastor or others. The parts are here divided between the husband and wife.
Musical Prelude. (Optional) Recognition.
Husband: "Behold I stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in."
Wife: We recognize Christ as the head of this house, its Guest and also its Lord.
A Beatitude for the Family.
Happy is the family that has a true home built by loyal hearts,
For home is not a dwelling but a living fellowship, In love and understanding.
And happy is the family whose members find a deeper unity
In sharing truth and beauty and devotion to the good. Their love shall be an altar fire
Burning in the temple of the Highest.
Prayer. (Members may prepare a prayer, or the following may be used.)
0 God our Father, and our eternal Friend, we recognize with joy that thou art the Source and Giver of the love that draws us together. We pray that Thou wilt be present in this home, that Thy love may enrich its fellowships, Thy wisdom be its guide, Thy truth its light and Thy peace its benediction, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
House Blessing. (May be repeated in unison, or responsively.)
"Bless the four corners of this house And be the lintel blest,
And bless the hearth and bless the board, And bless each place of rest;
And bless the door that opens wide To stranger as to kin,
And bless each crystal window-pane That lets the starlight in;
And bless the roof-tree overhead And every sturdy wall.
The peace of man, the peace of God, The peace of love o'er all."
Scripture.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (JOHN 13:34, 35 R.S.V.)
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (I CORINTHIANS 13:4-7. The Revised Standard Version of the New Testament. Used by permission of National Council of Churches.)
Hymn. "For the Beauty of the Earth."
For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which from our birth Over and around us lies,
Christ our God, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild, Christ our God, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.
--Conrad Kocher
Declaration.
Husband: We who make up this family believe that God has brought us together and that He is our Helper.
Wife: We agree to work and pray that our home may be a source of strength to its members and a place of warmth and fellowship to all who come into it.
Dedication and Candle-Lighting Ceremony. (Parts divided as desired.)
We dedicate our home to love and understanding. May its joys and sorrows be shared and the individuality of each member appreciated. We light a candle to
FAMILY LOVE
We dedicate our home to work and leisure. May it have gaiety and high fellowship, with kindness in its voices and laughter ringing within its walls. We light a candle to
HAPPINESS
We dedicate our home to a friendly life. May its doors open in hospitality and its windows look out with kindness toward other homes. We light a candle to
FRIENDSHIP
We dedicate our home to cooperation. May its duties be performed in love, its furnishings bear witness that the work of others ministers to our comfort and its table remind us that God works with us for the supply of our daily needs. We light a candle to
COOPERATION
We dedicate our home to the appreciation of all things true and good. May our books bring wisdom, our pictures symbolize things beautiful and our music bring joy and inspiration. We light a candle to
APPRECIATION
We dedicate our time and talents to live. for one another, to serve our generation and to help build a world in which every family may have a home of comfort and fellowship. We light a candle to
CHRISTIAN SERVICE
We dedicate our home as a unit in the church universal, an instrument of the kingdom of God, a place for worship and Christian training and a threshold to the life eternal. We light a candle to
SPIRITUAL ENRICHMENT
ALL: As the flames point upward so our thoughts rise in gratitude to God for this home, and in prayer for His blessing upon it.
Prayer of Dedication. (Followed by the Lord's Prayer, all uniting.)
0 God, our Father, we thank Thee for this home, and for those other homes whose good influences remain with us. Help us so to live together here that Thy blessing may rest upon us and Thy joy be in our hearts. As we grow in love and comradeship may our thoughts go out in good will to our neighbors and to all mankind, and more and more may we know Thy love which passeth all understanding.
As we dedicate this home we pray that Thou wilt consecrate it by Thine own indwelling, that its light may so shine before men that they shall glorify Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who taught us to pray:
"Our Father.."
Solo or Reading, "Bless This House" by Helen Taylor.'
Bless this house, 0 Lord we pray, Make it safe by night and day; Bless these walls, so firm and stout; Keeping want and trouble out; Bless the roof and chimney tall, Let Thy peace lie over all; Bless this door that it may prove Ever open to joy and love.
Bless these windows shining bright, Letting in God's heavenly light; Bless the hearth a-blazing there, With smoke ascending like a prayer; Bless the folk who dwell within, Keep them pure and free from sin; Bless us all that we may be, Fit 0 Lord to dwell with Thee.
Hymn. "0 Happy Home."
And where among the guests there never cometh
One who can hold such high and honored place.
0 happy home, where each one serves Thee lowly,
Whatever his appointed work may be,
Till every common task seems great and holy,
When it is done, 0 Lord, as unto Thee.
--Carl J. P. Spitta, Tr. by Mrs. C. F. Alexander.
Benediction. (Or a closing prayer and benediction by the minister.)
"The Lord bless us and keep us, the Lord make His face to shine upon us and be gracious unto us, the Lord lift up His countenance upon us and give us peace. Amen."
Closing Moment of Silent Prayer. (Soft music if desired.)
If guests are present the occasion should now lose all formality and everyone should be made to feel very much at home. A song fest of old favorites would be in order, if desired; or one or more solos if persons present are prepared for them. Music may be woven into the dedication program if this is desired. When the two are alone they will express their love to each other with joy and gaiety. The home is their nest, their castle and their honeymoon continued.
Each family must of course shape its own program of religious expression, with some elements adapted from the childhood homes of the two, and others worked out in their own experience.
The new custom of dedicating homes appeals to many persons. Such an act places an emphasis on the sacredness of the home and on the distinctness of the new family.
The dedication service which is offered here can be conducted by any homemakers who care for such a service, either by themselves or with any others they may desire to have present. Parts of the service may be assigned to the pastor or others. The parts are here divided between the husband and wife.
Musical Prelude. (Optional) Recognition.
Husband: "Behold I stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in."
Wife: We recognize Christ as the head of this house, its Guest and also its Lord.
A Beatitude for the Family.
Happy is the family that has a true home built by loyal hearts,
For home is not a dwelling but a living fellowship, In love and understanding.
And happy is the family whose members find a deeper unity
In sharing truth and beauty and devotion to the good. Their love shall be an altar fire
Burning in the temple of the Highest.
Prayer. (Members may prepare a prayer, or the following may be used.)
0 God our Father, and our eternal Friend, we recognize with joy that thou art the Source and Giver of the love that draws us together. We pray that Thou wilt be present in this home, that Thy love may enrich its fellowships, Thy wisdom be its guide, Thy truth its light and Thy peace its benediction, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
House Blessing. (May be repeated in unison, or responsively.)
"Bless the four corners of this house And be the lintel blest,
And bless the hearth and bless the board, And bless each place of rest;
And bless the door that opens wide To stranger as to kin,
And bless each crystal window-pane That lets the starlight in;
And bless the roof-tree overhead And every sturdy wall.
The peace of man, the peace of God, The peace of love o'er all."
Scripture.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (JOHN 13:34, 35 R.S.V.)
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (I CORINTHIANS 13:4-7. The Revised Standard Version of the New Testament. Used by permission of National Council of Churches.)
Hymn. "For the Beauty of the Earth."
For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which from our birth Over and around us lies,
Christ our God, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild, Christ our God, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.
--Conrad Kocher
Declaration.
Husband: We who make up this family believe that God has brought us together and that He is our Helper.
Wife: We agree to work and pray that our home may be a source of strength to its members and a place of warmth and fellowship to all who come into it.
Dedication and Candle-Lighting Ceremony. (Parts divided as desired.)
We dedicate our home to love and understanding. May its joys and sorrows be shared and the individuality of each member appreciated. We light a candle to
FAMILY LOVE
We dedicate our home to work and leisure. May it have gaiety and high fellowship, with kindness in its voices and laughter ringing within its walls. We light a candle to
HAPPINESS
We dedicate our home to a friendly life. May its doors open in hospitality and its windows look out with kindness toward other homes. We light a candle to
FRIENDSHIP
We dedicate our home to cooperation. May its duties be performed in love, its furnishings bear witness that the work of others ministers to our comfort and its table remind us that God works with us for the supply of our daily needs. We light a candle to
COOPERATION
We dedicate our home to the appreciation of all things true and good. May our books bring wisdom, our pictures symbolize things beautiful and our music bring joy and inspiration. We light a candle to
APPRECIATION
We dedicate our time and talents to live. for one another, to serve our generation and to help build a world in which every family may have a home of comfort and fellowship. We light a candle to
CHRISTIAN SERVICE
We dedicate our home as a unit in the church universal, an instrument of the kingdom of God, a place for worship and Christian training and a threshold to the life eternal. We light a candle to
SPIRITUAL ENRICHMENT
ALL: As the flames point upward so our thoughts rise in gratitude to God for this home, and in prayer for His blessing upon it.
Prayer of Dedication. (Followed by the Lord's Prayer, all uniting.)
0 God, our Father, we thank Thee for this home, and for those other homes whose good influences remain with us. Help us so to live together here that Thy blessing may rest upon us and Thy joy be in our hearts. As we grow in love and comradeship may our thoughts go out in good will to our neighbors and to all mankind, and more and more may we know Thy love which passeth all understanding.
As we dedicate this home we pray that Thou wilt consecrate it by Thine own indwelling, that its light may so shine before men that they shall glorify Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who taught us to pray:
"Our Father.."
Solo or Reading, "Bless This House" by Helen Taylor.'
Bless this house, 0 Lord we pray, Make it safe by night and day; Bless these walls, so firm and stout; Keeping want and trouble out; Bless the roof and chimney tall, Let Thy peace lie over all; Bless this door that it may prove Ever open to joy and love.
Bless these windows shining bright, Letting in God's heavenly light; Bless the hearth a-blazing there, With smoke ascending like a prayer; Bless the folk who dwell within, Keep them pure and free from sin; Bless us all that we may be, Fit 0 Lord to dwell with Thee.
Hymn. "0 Happy Home."
And where among the guests there never cometh
One who can hold such high and honored place.
0 happy home, where each one serves Thee lowly,
Whatever his appointed work may be,
Till every common task seems great and holy,
When it is done, 0 Lord, as unto Thee.
--Carl J. P. Spitta, Tr. by Mrs. C. F. Alexander.
Benediction. (Or a closing prayer and benediction by the minister.)
"The Lord bless us and keep us, the Lord make His face to shine upon us and be gracious unto us, the Lord lift up His countenance upon us and give us peace. Amen."
Closing Moment of Silent Prayer. (Soft music if desired.)
If guests are present the occasion should now lose all formality and everyone should be made to feel very much at home. A song fest of old favorites would be in order, if desired; or one or more solos if persons present are prepared for them. Music may be woven into the dedication program if this is desired. When the two are alone they will express their love to each other with joy and gaiety. The home is their nest, their castle and their honeymoon continued.
Chapter 7: The Deeper Meaning of Marriage 5. Religion Shared in the Home
The religious life of the home should be higher and deeper than all creeds or ceremonies, as the husband and wife share in their thinking about the meaning of life, and about the truth, beauty, love, and wisdom that are beyond, beneath and within all things. Their religion must not be a formality which they go through, careless-hearted and uninspired, for the real religion of the home is the sum and substance of its highest ideals and of its deepest love.
"Religion at its best burns like an altar fire in the home and God is the unseen guest day and night. Such an experience may seem difficult of realization, and it is, but not so difficult as appears. It requires daily consecration, daily thoughtfulness and daily `practice of the Presence of God! . . . Long experience has shown that the home is more stable when the husband and wife keep their ideals by God's strength; when children learn to pray at their mother's knee; when the family go to church together as a family custom and as a conscious participation in community life. The child needs the divinest home earth can offer. He thrives best in settled ways, where life is on a high plane. He lives by love as much as by food and drink."
What is said here about the child is equally true of grown people, who, from this point of view, are simply children of a larger growth. The world is sometimes cold. We need our hearts warmed at home. When life is hard we need a refuge where hearts are responsive. The parent also, or the newly married person, lives by love as much as by food and drink.
Practical results of religion in family success have been indicated in a striking way in a number of studies that have been made and by careful observation. These studies have shown that divorce is almost negligible in homes in which the husband and wife are regular in their church duties. Time taken for private and family prayer and for attendance upon public worship is time spent in building up the spiritual strength of the family. These habits bring the individual and the family into an atmosphere in which appreciation, forbearance and mutual devotion are cultivated, and a critical and unforgiving spirit is out of place.
One would say to homemakers: "Never let religion be an occasion for unkindness, intolerance, or prejudice against each other, or against any human soul. Honor all good people, whether of your creed or of some other. So far as you have ability and opportunity, work with all who in any way are striving to advance human good. Your family is part of a world of families. Help lift the general level.
"If creeds and forms that are presented to you as embodying religion do not satisfy or convince you, look for the truth and beauty that are deeper than all forms. If your church is imperfect try to make it more perfect through your influence in it. Do not throw stones of criticism at those who are trying to make the world better. Help them, and carry on a little demonstration of human betterment at home."
The great and wonderful stream of life comes out of the past and flows through us toward future generations. We are heirs of all the ages yet we must take up our inheritance and prepare to pass it on not only unimpaired but built up and revitalized. If in our families we work together, with devotion to each other, with reverence for the great gift of life, and in harmony with God, we shall not fail to find the highest possible good.
"Religion at its best burns like an altar fire in the home and God is the unseen guest day and night. Such an experience may seem difficult of realization, and it is, but not so difficult as appears. It requires daily consecration, daily thoughtfulness and daily `practice of the Presence of God! . . . Long experience has shown that the home is more stable when the husband and wife keep their ideals by God's strength; when children learn to pray at their mother's knee; when the family go to church together as a family custom and as a conscious participation in community life. The child needs the divinest home earth can offer. He thrives best in settled ways, where life is on a high plane. He lives by love as much as by food and drink."
What is said here about the child is equally true of grown people, who, from this point of view, are simply children of a larger growth. The world is sometimes cold. We need our hearts warmed at home. When life is hard we need a refuge where hearts are responsive. The parent also, or the newly married person, lives by love as much as by food and drink.
Practical results of religion in family success have been indicated in a striking way in a number of studies that have been made and by careful observation. These studies have shown that divorce is almost negligible in homes in which the husband and wife are regular in their church duties. Time taken for private and family prayer and for attendance upon public worship is time spent in building up the spiritual strength of the family. These habits bring the individual and the family into an atmosphere in which appreciation, forbearance and mutual devotion are cultivated, and a critical and unforgiving spirit is out of place.
One would say to homemakers: "Never let religion be an occasion for unkindness, intolerance, or prejudice against each other, or against any human soul. Honor all good people, whether of your creed or of some other. So far as you have ability and opportunity, work with all who in any way are striving to advance human good. Your family is part of a world of families. Help lift the general level.
"If creeds and forms that are presented to you as embodying religion do not satisfy or convince you, look for the truth and beauty that are deeper than all forms. If your church is imperfect try to make it more perfect through your influence in it. Do not throw stones of criticism at those who are trying to make the world better. Help them, and carry on a little demonstration of human betterment at home."
The great and wonderful stream of life comes out of the past and flows through us toward future generations. We are heirs of all the ages yet we must take up our inheritance and prepare to pass it on not only unimpaired but built up and revitalized. If in our families we work together, with devotion to each other, with reverence for the great gift of life, and in harmony with God, we shall not fail to find the highest possible good.
Chapter 7: The Deeper Meaning of Marriage 4. Religion and Personal Character
A great practical contribution of religion at its best is in its tendency to produce in people those attitudes which make family life worthy and inspiring. In helping people to be upright, loyal, unselfish, patient, courageous, and also easier to live with, true religion aids in the development of the finest homemaking qualities.
These qualities are favorable to the continuance of mutual respect. At the time of marriage each has, of course, the full respect of the other and it is one of the most precious assets. If at any time mutual respect is damaged in any degree it must be reestablished as quickly and as fully as possible, because respect is a necessary ingredient in love.
William Lyon Phelps, a great teacher of young men, and a keen observer of family life, has said: "Since the greatest of all arts is the art of living together, and since the highest and most permanent happiness depends on it, and since the way to practice this art successfully lies through character, the all important question is how to obtain character. The surest way is through religion in the home." This is a most reasonable statement because religion which is the experience of the love of God in the home is a corrective for our faults and a means of strengthening our good points. The New Testament says: "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Here also we have great wisdom for family experience. It means that as we live together we cultivate the attitude of appreciation rather than criticism and learn to find the best in one another.
We know that there is a personal discipline which prepares the way for the highest achievements of the athlete or the musician. There is also a spiritual discipline which aids the highest living both in personal and in family experience. Commonplace living is easy, but the finest living calls for our very best in the home as in every other relationship.
These qualities are favorable to the continuance of mutual respect. At the time of marriage each has, of course, the full respect of the other and it is one of the most precious assets. If at any time mutual respect is damaged in any degree it must be reestablished as quickly and as fully as possible, because respect is a necessary ingredient in love.
William Lyon Phelps, a great teacher of young men, and a keen observer of family life, has said: "Since the greatest of all arts is the art of living together, and since the highest and most permanent happiness depends on it, and since the way to practice this art successfully lies through character, the all important question is how to obtain character. The surest way is through religion in the home." This is a most reasonable statement because religion which is the experience of the love of God in the home is a corrective for our faults and a means of strengthening our good points. The New Testament says: "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Here also we have great wisdom for family experience. It means that as we live together we cultivate the attitude of appreciation rather than criticism and learn to find the best in one another.
We know that there is a personal discipline which prepares the way for the highest achievements of the athlete or the musician. There is also a spiritual discipline which aids the highest living both in personal and in family experience. Commonplace living is easy, but the finest living calls for our very best in the home as in every other relationship.
Chapter 7: The Deeper Meaning of Marriage 3. A Sacred Undertaking
High hopes of excellence in their life together are normal to young people in love. As husband and wife they should have faith in God, and in the sacredness of their undertaking. In a world where there are many lives that simply drift, they should have a purpose. The person who starts with a conviction that the task of building a home is worthy of persistent endeavor is likely to be an individual worth living with, while the cynical mind that does not believe supremely in anything is a handicap in marriage.
Young people starting out on the journey together most naturally turn to God in prayer for the success of their venture. When they become parents they can hardly think without awe and tenderness of the life which they have brought into the world. And when it comes to the early training of children, what is more desirable than to create a family atmosphere charged with faith and good will. Family members living without thought of spiritual things are like dwellers in a valley who never lift up their eyes to the mountain tops.
Young people starting out on the journey together most naturally turn to God in prayer for the success of their venture. When they become parents they can hardly think without awe and tenderness of the life which they have brought into the world. And when it comes to the early training of children, what is more desirable than to create a family atmosphere charged with faith and good will. Family members living without thought of spiritual things are like dwellers in a valley who never lift up their eyes to the mountain tops.
Chapter 7: The Deeper Meaning of Marriage 2. Complete Love
A clearer realization of the way in which the great principles of religion apply to family life will help us. The first and greatest of the commandments, as Jesus said, is: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength," and the second is, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." If we catch the spirit of these words as descriptive of love in a high sense, we may apply the same thought to the relationships of husbands and wives in the family.
One is to love with all the heart, the emotional nature; with all the mind, the intellectual nature; with all the soul, the aesthetic and religious nature; and all the strength, a synthesis of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual qualities. Great wisdom for married life is expressed in the words of Jesus, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another."
What does it mean to love as Christ loved? Among other things it means that our love is to develop the qualities that his love showed, such as understanding, seeing into the heart; appreciation, seeing the best in people; unselfishness, a concern for the happiness of the other, and a forgiving spirit in which he gave an example that the world can never forget.
Love within the home prepares us better to love our neighbors. The attitude of loving one's neighbor as himself creates a kindlier atmosphere, brings one into a larger circle of good will, and develops character in such a way that the home also is benefited. It means growth in kindness, fairness, and ability to help others to be their best. It means that we are to find the influences of fellowship and good will all about us, and to unload any burden of grudges and cynicisms that we may have. These bring a bitter harvest, but "The harvest of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, good temper, kindliness, generosity, fidelity, gentleness, self-control." Every one of these qualities is found in a home that gives due place to the spiritual life.
One is to love with all the heart, the emotional nature; with all the mind, the intellectual nature; with all the soul, the aesthetic and religious nature; and all the strength, a synthesis of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual qualities. Great wisdom for married life is expressed in the words of Jesus, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another."
What does it mean to love as Christ loved? Among other things it means that our love is to develop the qualities that his love showed, such as understanding, seeing into the heart; appreciation, seeing the best in people; unselfishness, a concern for the happiness of the other, and a forgiving spirit in which he gave an example that the world can never forget.
Love within the home prepares us better to love our neighbors. The attitude of loving one's neighbor as himself creates a kindlier atmosphere, brings one into a larger circle of good will, and develops character in such a way that the home also is benefited. It means growth in kindness, fairness, and ability to help others to be their best. It means that we are to find the influences of fellowship and good will all about us, and to unload any burden of grudges and cynicisms that we may have. These bring a bitter harvest, but "The harvest of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, good temper, kindliness, generosity, fidelity, gentleness, self-control." Every one of these qualities is found in a home that gives due place to the spiritual life.
Chapter 7: The Deeper Meaning of Marriage 1. The Higher Needs
Life at its best is a spiritual venture having a supreme goal and purpose. Our fellowship with one another is most complete when together we realize that the foundations of our marriage, as of our being, are in God, who is the greater Love beyond, beneath and within our human love.
Sometimes persons are ill at ease and unhappy mainly because they fail to meet the needs of the higher side of their nature. Man cannot live by bread alone, and a family cannot live in material things and passing events alone. Deep in the heart are spiritual needs which are like hunger and thirst, the repression of which throws life out of balance and robs it of its richest meaning.
We need to be adjusted not only to one another in the family, but to life and to God. Every family needs a dynamic of conviction and an ultimate goal for its striving. We use the term religion to indicate the spirit of love in its highest and most practical sense.
If we give care to the foundations our homemaking ventures will be secure. There will also be the satisfaction of feeling that our home is a part of God's kingdom on earth. It adds immensely to the joy of homemaking to realize that we are building with God and that His laws are on our side to help us in preserving and increasing the happiness of the home.
There is something about the habit of living with God, who is love, which gives a fuller splendor to our family relationships. When parenthood comes the parents stand in the place of God to the little child. In order to be prepared for such a responsibility they must, of course, have God in the home before the children arrive.
Religion is a means of laying hold upon a wisdom greater than our own as we look to the objectives of the voyage which we are taking. It does not mean forgetting daily concerns in order to concentrate upon God, but finding God, like light and power in the midst of all our relationships. "A flash of gorgeous knowledge of the presence and beauty of God may come through some earthly love, that life-giving emotion which makes us part of the Creator and bestows a cosmic consciousness that links us with all creation." Something of this consciousness was expressed in the words of a husband who said to his wife, "In your eyes, my darling, I have seen the Infinite."
Sometimes persons are ill at ease and unhappy mainly because they fail to meet the needs of the higher side of their nature. Man cannot live by bread alone, and a family cannot live in material things and passing events alone. Deep in the heart are spiritual needs which are like hunger and thirst, the repression of which throws life out of balance and robs it of its richest meaning.
We need to be adjusted not only to one another in the family, but to life and to God. Every family needs a dynamic of conviction and an ultimate goal for its striving. We use the term religion to indicate the spirit of love in its highest and most practical sense.
If we give care to the foundations our homemaking ventures will be secure. There will also be the satisfaction of feeling that our home is a part of God's kingdom on earth. It adds immensely to the joy of homemaking to realize that we are building with God and that His laws are on our side to help us in preserving and increasing the happiness of the home.
There is something about the habit of living with God, who is love, which gives a fuller splendor to our family relationships. When parenthood comes the parents stand in the place of God to the little child. In order to be prepared for such a responsibility they must, of course, have God in the home before the children arrive.
Religion is a means of laying hold upon a wisdom greater than our own as we look to the objectives of the voyage which we are taking. It does not mean forgetting daily concerns in order to concentrate upon God, but finding God, like light and power in the midst of all our relationships. "A flash of gorgeous knowledge of the presence and beauty of God may come through some earthly love, that life-giving emotion which makes us part of the Creator and bestows a cosmic consciousness that links us with all creation." Something of this consciousness was expressed in the words of a husband who said to his wife, "In your eyes, my darling, I have seen the Infinite."
Chapter 6: Parenthood 4. Creating a Favorable Atmosphere for Children
The family at its best is a training school of personality, with joy in work and play, unity in aims and ideals, self-confidence, and deep gratification of each member in being able to give joy to the ones who are most dear. Such a home creates an atmosphere favorable to the complete and happy development of children.
It is well for parents to have their children when they are fairly young, lest there should be too great a distance between the generations, and it is a benefit to the child to have brothers and sisters near his own age because they become playmates, share experiences and help one another in personality development.
If a child has too much parental emotion centered upon him, whether of pleasure or dissatisfaction, he does not adjust himself-normally in the world of his equals where he must make his place. He must not be given the feeling that the world revolves around him, but must learn to be a person among persons in the give and take of life.
For the problems of pregnancy and parenthood it is well to take advantage of the helpful books which are available in all good libraries, and to possess the most necessary ones if possible. Some excellent free pamphlets on child training can be secured from the Children's Bureau in Washington. It is well for people to anticipate parenthood, to draw in advance upon the best wisdom available and to plan for children not only in terms of health and support, but also in anticipation of complete family happiness and the sharing of affection.
Giving the child a good start physically becomes easier if he is nursed by his mother. This should be carefully considered by all mothers who want of course to do everything possible for their children.
A certain proportion of married folk find that they do not have as many children as they want. Such people ought not to give up hope, however, for a considerable number, who would otherwise be childless, can have their hope for children fulfilled through modern medical help.
For married couples to have an average of three children will merely maintain the population at its present level, and it is evident that a family which does not maintain itself nor make its contribution to the next generation is falling short of its full responsibility.
The joys of parenthood are enhanced by the thought of building a better future for children and through them. To rear a new generation with the highest ideals, and in accordance with the best procedures in child training, gives to the homemaking task the dignity of an art and a noble profession.
The human race has gone far toward conquering the forces of earth, sea and air, but the advances of the past and present can be crowned with most complete fulfillment only by going forward to achieve the finest type of human living. When we consider the way in which the spirit of man presses forward to reach new heights, we would be faint-hearted if we did not dare to dream of a nobler future for our children, and, in spite of all discouragements, to work with them for a happy and peaceful world.
This better future, however, can not be built without secure foundations in home life. As we think of the millions of homes in all parts of the country, on busy city streets, in pleasant suburbs, in the midst of shady lawns, by lake or stream, or on sun-streaked hillsides, do we not see in these more than anywhere else, the very heart of our nation's life? If we picture fathers returning home with gladness, met by smiling eyes of women, gathering in the home circles amid the romping of children, and if we contemplate all the joy and good will that are constantly being generated in family life, do we not see in and through the home a possibility of building a world on sounder, saner principles, and of creating a type of human life nearer to the heart's desire? For the kind of life and the kind of world we want we must build solid foundations in our homes.
It is well for parents to have their children when they are fairly young, lest there should be too great a distance between the generations, and it is a benefit to the child to have brothers and sisters near his own age because they become playmates, share experiences and help one another in personality development.
If a child has too much parental emotion centered upon him, whether of pleasure or dissatisfaction, he does not adjust himself-normally in the world of his equals where he must make his place. He must not be given the feeling that the world revolves around him, but must learn to be a person among persons in the give and take of life.
For the problems of pregnancy and parenthood it is well to take advantage of the helpful books which are available in all good libraries, and to possess the most necessary ones if possible. Some excellent free pamphlets on child training can be secured from the Children's Bureau in Washington. It is well for people to anticipate parenthood, to draw in advance upon the best wisdom available and to plan for children not only in terms of health and support, but also in anticipation of complete family happiness and the sharing of affection.
Giving the child a good start physically becomes easier if he is nursed by his mother. This should be carefully considered by all mothers who want of course to do everything possible for their children.
A certain proportion of married folk find that they do not have as many children as they want. Such people ought not to give up hope, however, for a considerable number, who would otherwise be childless, can have their hope for children fulfilled through modern medical help.
For married couples to have an average of three children will merely maintain the population at its present level, and it is evident that a family which does not maintain itself nor make its contribution to the next generation is falling short of its full responsibility.
The joys of parenthood are enhanced by the thought of building a better future for children and through them. To rear a new generation with the highest ideals, and in accordance with the best procedures in child training, gives to the homemaking task the dignity of an art and a noble profession.
The human race has gone far toward conquering the forces of earth, sea and air, but the advances of the past and present can be crowned with most complete fulfillment only by going forward to achieve the finest type of human living. When we consider the way in which the spirit of man presses forward to reach new heights, we would be faint-hearted if we did not dare to dream of a nobler future for our children, and, in spite of all discouragements, to work with them for a happy and peaceful world.
This better future, however, can not be built without secure foundations in home life. As we think of the millions of homes in all parts of the country, on busy city streets, in pleasant suburbs, in the midst of shady lawns, by lake or stream, or on sun-streaked hillsides, do we not see in these more than anywhere else, the very heart of our nation's life? If we picture fathers returning home with gladness, met by smiling eyes of women, gathering in the home circles amid the romping of children, and if we contemplate all the joy and good will that are constantly being generated in family life, do we not see in and through the home a possibility of building a world on sounder, saner principles, and of creating a type of human life nearer to the heart's desire? For the kind of life and the kind of world we want we must build solid foundations in our homes.
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